I was having a couple of beauty treatments today, as it’s my birthday this week, and my beautician commented on how tired she was after having time off and felt like she needed another break, and it got me reflecting.
We’re over 48 hours into 2019 and it’s amazing how many people seem to be struggling. Let’s look at some of the possible festive ingredients from the last couple of weeks:
o Time off from work to relax and grab some extra sleep in the longer winter nights
o Hanging out with loved ones, really connecting and having fun
o Eating what and when you want
o Chilling out, reading, taking nice walks in nature or along the sea front.
Or did it look more like this...
o Ran around madly preparing for Christmas to try and meet everyone’s expectations (including your own), to make everything ‘perfect’ and spending way too much money in the process
o Dealt with difficult, ‘energy draining’ relatives who were impossible to please anyway
o Pigged out on big meals, too much alcohol, interspersed with a multitude of snacks, not really listening to your body (and now your digestive system is showing you how unhappy it is)
o Barely moved, sloth like, glued to any number of different screens (TV, tablet, video games, smart phone) and now you’re feeling bloated, lacking energy and run down.
The second scenario is all too common and typically precedes New Year’s resolutions of wanting to ‘do better’, only to have ‘broken’ them by February.
What if I were to say to you that lack of motivation or willpower need never be an obstacle to you creating a happy, loving healthful life again?
You see, the majority people, use the wrong tool for navigating through life.
Whether its decisions around what to eat, when to exercise, who to spend time with, how to get the most pleasure out of the time you spend with people, what to do around your health issues, or how to make decisions that work best for you?
If we wait for the ‘right’ feeling, for example feeling motivated to go to the gym, or feeling like saying ‘no’ to the last mince pie, then no wonder we’re set to fail. Motivation is simply a feeling that comes from thought, and thought is something we have very little control over (if any!), and nor do we need to have any control over it, when we understand how our moment to moment thought experience is created.
When I reflect on 2018, my 47thyear, my year has been relaxed, fun, loving and hugely enjoyable. A million miles away of how it was for me 10 years ago, when every area of my life was a mess; my family relationships, my health, and my finances, all alongside a lack of contribution to anything worthwhile to humanity. I don’t even recognise the ‘me’ that lived that life anymore. And the massive change has all been so effortless and down to one thing....
I have spent the last few years looking at what it is that creates our psychological experience, and how heavily it impacts our health both physically and mentally. The blessing for me is the impact it’s had on me personally while training and learning. It’s an insightful learning so you can’t help but change.
I don’t regret the first 40 years of my life before ‘waking up’ to this truth, for it has made the second chapter of my life all that more appreciated.
So is this the year are you going to gift yourself the best present ever? Are you going to put 'self-care' at the top of your priorities for 2019 that will pay huge dividends for the rest of your life, not just for a few weeks or months?