My kids and I watched a bit of American trashy TV last night. It was lovely to feel free to indulge without judgement. We were watching The Bachelorette, (if you haven’t heard of it, over the period of several weeks one girl gets to date and spend time with a large group of men and eliminates those that she doesn’t feel she has a connection with). The last show has her and her final chosen man that she wants to spend the rest of her life with, so the theory goes anyway. And yes, it is as cheese worthy as it sounds, but I am fascinated watching the people and their interactions.
I love that often when my daughter or I make a comment the other will often say “I was thinking exactly the same thing!” A case in question - last night one of the men was fearful of being eliminated and was expressing how he hadn’t had a chance to tell the girl about how both his sister and brother had died from drug use. My daughter and I turned to one another and said “Why is that relevant?”
Which brings me on to how we create our own personal story and why it’s so irrelevant to who we are. If I look back and read my old blogs I can cringe at some of them. I used to think my life story was important because it made me who I am. When we start to believe that, we are restricting a life that holds infinite possibilities.
For those that are relatively new to my blog then I will explain. Around 10 years ago I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This encompassed a prolonged period of time of deep mental and physical pain. I used to self-harm and have suicidal thoughts. I used to have a lot of thinking and judgement about life. I struggled in many areas: money, relationships, and health. Also, I was what a social worker would call a victim of sexual abuse as a child. I thought the two were related, now years on having learnt about the inside-out paradigm, I don’t.
This is just a story. I don’t associate with it anymore. It’s not who I am. In fact I barely recognise the person in the story anymore. That’s not to dismiss the depth of pain I suffered at that time, but because I didn’t understand what my feelings were pointing to, I believed those painful thoughts were vey real and were a true reflection of who I was and what had happened to me. My past story is irrelevant as yours is too. I used to believe I needed fixing and that my busy mind was a true representation of how broken I was. None of this is true. You are not what has happened to you, nor are your feelings an accurate representation of where you are in your life, they can only ever tell you about what is going in your thoughts.
My past hasn’t changed, but my understanding of what my thoughts and feelings point to in any given moment has given me the freedom to experience life in the most beautiful, profound way.
If you are ready for a radical transformation and to be truly impacted by this understanding then join me this Saturday and experience the magic for yourself:
One Day Workshop - Creating a Stress-free Life
Saturday, June 11, 2016, 10:00am 4:00pm
Venue: Cornerstone Community Centre, Church Road, Hove, BN3 2FL
Click on 'Events' tab to book.